Hemlet hits Rhode Island.... hard

Dillon Bracewell, Pollywiggle Post reporter extraordinaire, has the transcript from Dark Helmet and the Burger Kings lastest presidential campaign tour. This time around, the King did most of the talking

Reporter: Burger King, why are you answering the questions today? What's wrong with Dark Helmet?

King: He's really, really, really hungover.

Reporter: Okay.... What are your thoughts on Rhode Island?

King: Too many homos. This is becoming a serious issue. Just before I took the podium a guy hopped in the middle urinal and blatantly was staring at my junk. I'll tell ya right now, I'm hung baby, but I don't want any dudes checkin' it out.


Reporter: Isn't that prejudice towards an entire people?

King: A, stop talking like your from the 1700's. And B, I don't hate homos, I just wish they wouldn't be so in your face about it. I love banging women and taking dumps on their faces after, but you don't see me starting a rally about it, do you?


Reporter: Recently there have been talks about you relapsing (as depicted in the picture below) and partying again? Is this true?

King: That was during a pace rally (see pic below). All bets are off at those things.

Reporter: Last question. What was Dark Helmet drinking last night?

King: He only had 3 beers and a shot of tequila but I slipped him a roofie. Sucker!

The duo's next stop - California
-Dillon Bracewell