Hurricane Sandy

Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected by the Hurricane up here on the east coast of the USA.

ConEd, GO FUCK YOURSELF! Stop worrying about your bullshit overtime and get power to those in need..... except for the illegal immigrants.

RANDY!

CWYPD finally on Youtube

Part 1

Part 2

Religious Fun

Dedication to this guy

Tribute to some of the greatest motivational speeches

You gotta see this

Extreme Idiots Compilation

Can you beat the odds?

Odds of bowling a 300 game: 11,500 to 1

Odds of getting a hole in one: 5,000 to 1

Odds of getting canonized: 20,000,000 to 1

Odds of being an astronaut: 13,200,000 to 1

Odds of winning an Olympic medal: 662,000 to 1

Odds of an American speaking Cherokee: 15,000 to 1

Odds that a person between the age of 18 and 29 does NOT read a newspaper regularly: 3 to 1

Odds that an American adult does not want to live to age 120 under any circumstances: 3 to 2

Odds of injury from fireworks: 19,556 to 1

Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1

Odds of injury from using a chain saw: 4,464 to 1

Odds of injury from mowing the lawn: 3,623 to 1

Odds of fatally slipping in bath or shower: 2,232 to 1

Odds of drowning in a bathtub: 685,000 to 1

Odds of being killed on a 5-mile bus trip: 500,000,000 to 1

Odds of being killed sometime in the next year in any sort of transportation accident: 77 to 1

Odds of being killed in any sort of non-transportation accident: 69 to 1

Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1

Odds of being killed by lightning: 2,320,000 to 1

Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1

Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1

Odds of being the victim of serious crime in your lifetime: 20 to 1

Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1

Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1

Odds that a first marriage will survive without separation or divorce for 15 years: 1.3 to 1

Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime: 3 to 1

Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1

Odds of being born a twin in North America: 90 to 1

Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1

Odds of being audited by the IRS: 175 to 1

Odds of having your identity stolen: 200 to 1

Odds of dating a millionaire: 215 to 1

Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1

Odds of finding out your child is a genius: 250 to 1

Odds of catching a ball at a major league ballgame: 563 to 1

Odds of becoming a pro athlete: 22,000 to 1

Odds of finding a four-leaf clover on first try: 10,000 to 1

Odds of a person in the military winning the Medal of Honor: 11,000 to 1

Odds of winning an Academy Award: 11,500 to 1

Odds of striking it rich on Antiques Roadshow: 60,000 to 1

Odds of getting a royal flush in poker on first five cards dealt: 649,740 to 1

Odds of spotting a UFO today: 3,000,000 to 1

Odds of becoming president: 10,000,000 to 1

Odds of winning the California lottery: 13,000,000 to 1

Odds of becoming a saint: 20,000,000 to 1

Odds of a meteor landing on your house: 182,138,880,000,000 to 1

Chance of an American home having at least one container of ice cream in the freezer: 9 in 10.

Chance of dying from SARS in the United States: 1 in 100,000,000

Chances of being kidnapped by a drunk Portuguese electrician who ties you up and sets the building on fire, only to be saved by soap opera star Kyle Lowders younger brother via helicopter: 23 to 1

Happy Birthday Jason Lee

Breaking onto the scene in Kevin Smith's Mallrats, he broke on to the scene.

James Gammon

Better known as Lou Brown from Major League, James Gammon was born April 20th, 1940, died July 16, 2010.

Tribute to funny movie death scenes

Epic Fails

The background music blows/sucks but the video itself is worth a shitload of laughs

Good advice

Happy birthday to Adrian Brody and his schnoz

I gotta tip my hat to this dude. All his $ and he still hasn't fixed that thing. Good for you, A.B. You and your nose kicked the living shit out of predator

Mercury Poisoning gets a new definition today

It means you can't help but enjoy the live shit from Freddie Mercury of Queen

Why not

Throwing out a little tribute to the band KISS

This guy deserves a raise

Gay or Blind?

Al freakin' Bundy!

The best drunk monents in the Family Guy

Happy Birthday Steven Tyler!!!

Taking a break from continuing to get Kyle Lowder back on the east coast, we want to wish a happy 64th to The Demon of Screamin' Steven Tyler.

Pete Griffin

WRONG!

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

Quagmire

New Musicians in talks with KB Productions

http://theeastcoastfling.com/

News reporter goes ghetto

Kyle Lowder

The geniusses here at the post finally figured out how to put a poll up. There's only one answer, and it's the right one. Vote 'Do it' on the top right hand corner of this page

Rehearsals

With the movie oficially fully cast, the gang got together this past Sunday for the first 'rough' acting rehearsal for the upcoming, and still yet-to-be titled, Knuckleball Production. Rob Vaccaro, Jesse Brugger, Franklin DuBois, Jimmy Riley, Aimee Lee, Dennis Vaccaro, Nick Vaccaro, and Taylor Tacon, all had scripts in hand. Still no word on a Kyle Lowder cameo.

People who got shafted out of an Oscar for their roles

Who should have won best actor: 

1988
Leslie Nielsen as frank Drebin in The Naked Gun
Who won: Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. Anybody can act retarded aka drunk aka sick as all hell. It's called calling in sick to a college class.

1993
Robin Williams as Euphegenia Doubtfire in Mrs Doubtfire
Who won: Tom Hanks in Philadelphia. AIDS

Who should have won best supporting actor: 

1993
Roger Rees as The Sheriff of Rottingham in Robin Hood: Men in Tighs
Who did win: Tommy Lee Jones for The Fugitive. There's only one Tommy Lee and he's the one who piped out Pam Anderson on a boat.

1989
Terry Kiser as Bernie Lomax in Weekend a Bernies
Who did win: Denzel Washington in Glory. Get out of my face.


1991
OJ Simpson in Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
Who did win: Jack Pance in City Slickers. City Slickers 2 was 10 times better and it got jack shit.

Best Picture

2010
The Expendables
What won: The Kings Speech. Like there aren't enough movies about the King Henry's.

 

More Coming Soon!

Kyle Lowder Petition

Check the link on the right for the Kyle Lowder petition on the newest Knuckleball Production. Or just click the pic

Terrible

Inspired by a recent e-mail I received from Knuckleball Inc associate JP Damboragian

Weird Al to do next years Superbowl halftime show?

http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/02/13/five-reasons-weird-al-yankovic-should-perform-at-next-years-super-bowl/

#weirdalsuperbowl

http://www.facebook.com/weirdalatsuperbowl

New Paper Airplane Record

Movies that make you happy to be alive

No ranking order, just movies that make you feel happy to be alive.

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
The fight, on the tank, with Henry and Marcus inside? Indiana Jones made archaeology cool. And this movie makes life worth living.

Mighty Ducks 2

Bombay shaking his dick all over the sidelines, Charlie Conway running around with the American Flag, and Adam 'cake-eater' Banks' triple deke? What's not to love? Somehow this movie, in one form or another, always makes its way on a post.

Major League
Ricky Vaugn bangs Roger Dorns wife? Charlie Sheen admitted to doin' roids for this flick. God knows why. But look me in the face and tell me this movie doesn't make you feel good after watching Jake Taylor leg out a bunt to score Willie Hayes.

Rocky 2
Nothing against the other Rocky movies, as it's always a debate as to which one is the best. My order goes 4,2,1,6,3,5. I couldn't not pick Rocky 2 as the ultimate feel-good Rocky flick thought. Just something about that 'old-school' feeling.

True Lies
Come on now, you didn't think I'd give Arnie the shaft, did you? T2 is undoubtedly one of the greatest movies in cinematic history, if not the greatest. Tear jerker when Arnold goes down on the crane giving the thumbs up. But True Lies was Arnolds best performance. I still get goosebumps when he saves Jamie-Lee from the limo as he's hanging off the chopper.

 

That's all for now. We will have more in the future. Can't blow my wad on the first day!

Lighten up

Tribute to the action stars that aren't a bunch of pussies

Action stars now... (X-Men first class)

Action Starts then... (Arnold in Predator)

Shit, it's like Harvard vs Texas, an AIDS patient vs a power-lifter, a veggie burger vs a steak. You get the point. Bunch of pussies. Can't wait for The Expendables 2!

10 Movies that....

If you watched them, enjoyed them, and weren't on a date to try and get some, your'e gay!
Brokeback Mountain is the obvious choice for #1, so we're not even putting it in this list to save us all time

10)Secretariat

9)Failure to Launch

8)Gigli

7)Four Christmasses

6)Couples Retreat

5)Glitter

4)Spice World

3)The Hot Chick

2)Pokemon, The First Movie

1)From Justin to Kelly

Bale

Tribute - Archer

I'm a little upset over the fact that most of my close personal friends do not watch the show Archer, which airs on FX at 10pm Thursday nights. Here's a little taste of what you sum'bitches are missing out on:

3rd project

Knuckeball Productions is wasting no time prepping for the 3rd short film. Rob Vaccaro and Franklin DuBois have completed the 1st draft of the untitled detective flick. See more on the official site here: KB3

Eastwood

Dedication to Jay & Silent Bob

Kickin' off February with a dedication to a little bit of Jay & Silent Bob

Tribute to Rob Schneider

I know, I know. Why the fuck would the Pollywiggle Post pay tribute to Rob Schneider. We all had along talk about this one. Bottom line is, we are baffled. We have no answer as to how Rob got cast in Demolition Man, Judge Dredd, Home Alone 2, Necessary Roughness and Surf Ninjas. Schenider has had a successful career for over 20 years. 20 freakin' years! sorry for the poor quality

First dedication of 2012

The 'No Pants' Subway ride of 2012

CWYPD coming to youtube

Dennis Vaccaro has begun re-working on CWYPD to make it available for youtube. Unfortunately, youtube only allows up to 15 minute videos so it will be up in 2 parts.

The ECW chair incident

Laugh your asses off

The Family Guy may be past it's prime but these clips will still have you laughing pretty dam hard

And the winner is.....