Dark Helmet for President - Arizona press conference

Pollywiggle Post reporter Dillon Bracewell has just returned from Arizona with the latest on Dark Helmets presidential campaign...

Reporter:
Helmet, what do you think of the fine state of Arizona?

Helmet:
Beautiful scenery, ugly immigration problem.

Reporter:
What would your first step of action be to put a stop to the problem?

Helmet:
The  Burger King and I have spoken about this recently. He wants to have men standing at the border and bribe them back with a 3 for 1 burger deal. I don't see that happening anytime soon. The Jack in the Box mascot is being a real Liberal asshole about the whole thing. And don't get me started on Ronald McD... that pussy

Reporter:
We all know about Kings prior party attitude, as depicted in the picture below

Do you think this will have any effect on your election?

Helmet:
We're a team and I stand by the Burger King. You see, we've all had our prior 'run-ins' if you will. If you can recall there was a time when I tried to suck all the air out of an entire planet. Thank goodness mega-maid went from suck to blow. We can all change, and both the King and I have.... for the better.

Thanks to Dillon Bracewell for the update. Presidential Candidate Dark Helmet's next stop - Rhode Island. Stay tuned!

Tribute to Stansson

Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson. One of the bets bad guys in cinematic history, the Pollywiggle Post salutes you Wolf. Between the cheap shot to Bombays leg and having the 'cake eater' Adam Banks knocked out cold, you surely had a heart as cold ace Iceland.

Godzilla Facepalm

Joey Gladstone tribute

Not much going on here. I wanna know have Dave Coulier made a career about being a bum on a couch in a family sitcom.

Press Conference Transcript from Cleveland

Reporter:
Mr. Helmet, first question, what party are you representing?

Helmet:
The Spaceball party.

Reporter:
What made you choose The Burger King as your running mate? I mean, won't Colonel Sandurz be a little upset?

Helmet:
Sandurz still fights for evil things like stealing air from Druidia. I have changed my ways and want to bring peace. When I was looking for a running mate I ran into the King one night at rally to bring back the Fresh Prince handshake. The rest of the story writes itself and here we are.

Reporter:
The Burger King doesn't speak much. Won't that affect your campaign?

Helmet:
The last guy who lost talked too much. We learn from others mistakes.


Reporter:
What would your first order of business be if you were to be elected?

Helmet:
Put Pete Rose in the Baseball Hall of Fame. He totally deserves it.

Reporter:
We've heard your old slogan, "Evil will always triumph....." right before you attempted to shoot Lone Starr in the balls. You say you've changed. What is your campaign slogan going to be?

Helmet:
America, fuck yeah!

Dark Hemlet for President 2012 - Cleveland

After decades in hiding and preparing, Dark Helmet did indeed show up to last nights press conference in Cleveland. Dark helmet stated that his new slogan is yet to be coined, however will not be about the triumphant forces of evil, as that is not American. He has made a complete turn from evil to good.

A standing ovation was given after the press conference. A full transcript will be coming to the site as soon as Dillon Bracewell returns. Hemlet and King left with one clip playing on a projector in the background as they exited...

New Look

A little surprised by the Pollywiggle Posts new look? That's what happens when Helmet and The King run for pres. Hemlets first text to our top field reporter Dillon Bracewell was simply this, "I'm doing it. Former President Scroob taught me well and I think I'm finally ready to go it on my own. I'm doing it."

Powerful words from the man himself, Dark Helmet.

Election

In a recent press conference, The Burger King (below) revealed that he and Helmet will hold their first official 'Campaign Kickoff' party in Cleveland. According to King, the conference will simply be to verbally assure the public/media of the duos plan to take control of the Oval Office. A reporter asked, 'Why Cleveland?' King responded, "Why not?" The Pollywiggle Posts top man, Dillon Bracewell, has been assigned to follow this team and bring you up to the minute updates. His life depends on it. Rumor has it Dark Helmet is receiving campaign tips from former Spaceball President Scroob....

Photo courtesy Dillon Bracewell, Pollywiggle Post

President 2012

Wondering who's gonna take on Obama? Will they win? Will they smell what Barack is cookin'? With rumors afoot of possible candidates for the 2012 election stretching from the robust Sara Palin to Sex addict Donald Trump, the Pollywiggle Post has been selected to honor a future candidate and his running mate. Dick Pollywiggle, founder of the Pollywiggle Post, could not be more honored to be the home to future presidential candidate Dark Helmet and his running mate The Burger King!

Stay tuned as the first press conference results will be coming soon.

The Greatest American....... Ever!!!

Unhappily married since 1971. Didn't want kids, he ended up with 2. Miserable job as a womens shoe salesman. 4 touchdowns in one game of Polk High Football. Founder of NO MA'AM. Al Bundy may be a fictional character, but he stands for all that is right..... and against fat chicks.

ACM

For those who missed the County Music awards on Sunday night, here's a little recap:

Miranda Lambert (woof) won just about every award. Jason Aldean got the shaft, and Carrie Underwood looked phenomenal. Her performance (below) had a very special guest star. When the star came out on stage (1:44), I went from 6 to 12.

Tribute - Randy Marsh

Starting as a nobody in the background to being one of the greatest characters in SP. Randy Marsh flew out of the wood-works to become one of the most charismatic and sensational characters in South Park.